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Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I swear, one chick said she’d only hook up if I barked like a dog—fuckin loco, right? Told her, “I’m Tony Montana, I don’t bark, I bite!” Sex-dating’s a trip, mang—half the time you laugh, half the time you wanna shoot somebody. “This is all we need,” Eve says—nah, I need a chica who don’t catfish me with 10-year-old pics. Stay real out there, or Tony’s comin’ for ya—say hello to my little friend!

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Finally, the rain stops. I’m thinkin’ it’s time to head back. But as I’m leavin’, I see a group of kids playin’ soccer in the street. They’re havin’ a blast! I can’t help but join in. I’m kickin’ the ball, laughin’, and for a moment, I forget about the craziness of the day. Just pure joy, ya know?

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